


Wheelers

by Twele



Series: Changes [3]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Bisexual Steve Harrington, Gay Billy Hargrove, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Irreversible Change AU, M/M, Mourning, Past Billy/Steve, Steve is dead, billy pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23578504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twele/pseuds/Twele
Summary: After the events of Irreversible Change, Billy is secretly 'living' in Nancy's room.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Series: Changes [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676743
Comments: 53
Kudos: 51





	1. Nancy

**Author's Note:**

> I promise that not all of these extra stories will be sad!!  
> Timeline speaking, we're still in the first week after Steve.   
> Billy's still quite upset (as am I!)
> 
> As with the Tommy chapter, won't make too much sense without reading Irreversible Change.

The water was warm. Almost a week since Steve died, Billy could feel at least that much. As he lay in the sweet-smelling waters of the Wheelers’ bathtub, he could at least appreciate the warmth that was trying to seep into his body. Just like Nancy herself, the water was trying to warm something inside him; trying to heal him.

And - _oh_ \- what a week it had been. Today included, Billy hadn’t managed a single day without some kind of breakdown.

On Tuesday -after Tommy had been sent home, after everyone had _stopped_ talking about Hagan’s freak out, after the memorial assembly that felt so soulless and impersonal- Billy had cried under the bleachers while Nancy and Jonathan had taken it in turns to hold him. Wednesday had seen him storming out of Econ and hiding out until the end of the day because Trudy had looked at him the wrong way. And Thursday he’d not gone to school at all, Nancy having chosen to leave him sleeping because, until then, he just _hadn’t_. The breakdown on Thursday came when he’d woken screaming from the vivid nightmares -from the vivid _memories-_ of Steve tearing him apart. Nancy had come home that evening to find Billy curled up and shaking; a total fucking mess.

She’d brought him round. Every time, she or Jonathan had somehow brought him round. Every time, they’d somehow brought him back to his new normal. It was insane how determined they were to keep him with them; to stop him from spiralling out. To stop him from doing anything _stupid_ like Henderson had worried about on Monday.

He’d become a fucking full-time job. He hated that.

All the same, the whole week, they’d been ducking the rest of the Wheeler clan. Although he was part of the Party, although he knew what had happened to Steve, even Little Wheeler wasn’t clued in. It had been difficult -made more difficult by Billy’s own yo-yoing mental state- but Nancy and Jonathan both seemed determined that he wouldn’t be going back to Neil’s house; that Max was fine and that he was safe.

As far as he knew, Neil hadn’t even noticed that he was gone.

So now, the Friday evening of that first week -only a week since that bright shining dream that had been the June Ball- Billy lay in the warm waters of the Wheelers’ bathtub, having _today’s_ freak out. Save for Nancy and Little Wheeler, the house was empty but Billy still kept himself as quiet as he could, biting down hard on the index finger of his right hand. His useless hand.

In the wake of the injuries to his forearms, he’d lost the strength to grip things. Not _totally_ -he wasn’t a cripple or anything- but enough for him to _notice_ ; enough to make normal shit _difficult_. And -goddamn- wasn’t normal shit difficult enough right now.

Knees pulled up to his chest, Billy silently sobbed. It wasn’t like he was _trying_ to be like this. Hell, he was fucking _trying_ to be normal; to get a fucking grip. It’s just that… Everything he did reminded him of Steve in some way; even if it was the most tenuous of fucking links. Every sight, every sound, every _thing_ … Everything was Steve.

The thought of Steve used to make him smile; used to make his heart fucking swell and bring poetry and giddiness to his mind. But now… now it always came back to the fear in his eyes; the sound of his screams; the blood on Billy’s arms.

Even now, Billy could still feel the weight of it. He could still _feel_ Steve’s blood on him. That in itself was trigger enough to set him off; to turn him into the pathetic, snivelling creature that could do nothing but mourn. God, he hated it. Hated being a burden. Hated being so broken. Hated _being_ when Steve _wasn’t_.

It all felt so wrong.

“Billy?” a voice crept around the door he hadn’t noticed cracking open. It was timid; it was hesitant. Like Nancy didn’t _want_ to disturb him but also that she couldn’t _not_ do it. Like she thought he’d slit his wrists or some shit.

“I’m-” _fine._ He’d meant to say _fine_ but the first word was so tellingly broken and pathetic that he knew he was fooling no one.

As the door inched further open, Nancy slid into the room. With the softest click, the door closed behind her as she moved to kneel by the tub. Billy sniffed and looked away, ashamed that he still couldn’t get through _one day_ without this shit.

“You okay?” she asked and Billy shook his head. There really was no fucking point in lying to her face. He clearly wasn’t okay. She hummed sadly as her eyes trailed over the top half of his body, clearly looking for any signs of infection anywhere.

The wound that was doing the worst, strangely, was the iron burn on his arm. The burn that Steve had left when they’d been so worried that Billy could _change_. Although it had seemed okay the previous week, no it just wasn’t healing all that good and Nancy was having to cleanse it twice a day. It was like some kind of karmic restitution for how he’d failed Steve.

Not only had she been his therapist and counsellor but she’d also become his care worker. It felt like too much - _was_ too much- but she wouldn’t stop; wouldn’t let him push her away. Not that he had the strength to have any kind of _real_ go at it.

Billy couldn’t remember when -their time together was blurring into one- but Jonathan had explained that it was probably her way of coping. That she was channelling all her pain into trying to restore Billy. It hurts to think of that. It hurt to think that she could be attaching her well-being so firmly to his own but, once again, he was just too fucking weak to do anything about it.

“Is this us now?” he asked softly, trying so fucking hard to not be a mess even when tears were still on his cheeks. “Are you always gunna join me when I’m in the tub?”

Nancy smiled and laughed and it was about a quarter of the way towards being normal.

“I suppose so, yeah,” she replied as pushed her hair behind her ear. Billy watched her relax; watched her lean on the side of the bath, cheek resting on her forearm and eyes staring into the middle distance. “I suppose this is part of our new normal…”

The _new normal_. They’d been talking about it a lot. Billy had been thinking about it a lot. No one quite knew what it looked like -this _new normal-_ just that they needed to ‘find’ it. Every now and then, something would happen and either Billy or one of the others would just label it as that: their _new normal_.

“Does it go both ways?” Billy sniffed, offering a small wink in an effort to lighten the mood. “Or am I always gunna be the one who’s naked?”

Nancy flushed and sat up rigid and wide-eyed for a moment before giving him a shove on the shoulder.

“Perv!” she scolded fondly and Billy raised both hands in surrender.

“Big fucking _faggot_ , remember? Not like I’m gunna be getting anything out of it!” he said gesturing towards himself. Nancy paused and he could see the word landing solidly on her face. There was a lull before she tilted her head to one side and looked almost sad again.

“Billy… You’re not-” she started but Billy shook his head.

“I-” he tried to interrupt, unsure what he was going to say. Yeah, Nancy knew about him and Steve -how could she not even if Steve hadn’t been the one to tell her?- but he’d not actually admitted to being gay. She’d probably just assumed that he was like Steve; that they were both ‘bisexuals’ or whatever. It was crazy how the words had come so fucking naturally; like it was an understood fact when it was anything but…. It felt weird. “I don’t-” he tried again, wanting to explain his thinking; wanting her to know just _who_ she was caring for.

“Don’t use that word, Billy. Steve always hated it,” she continued and Billy bit his lip.

Yeah. He really did. In his mind’s eye, Billy could see the look on the older boy’s face still; pull of his dark brows when he heard Billy calling himself that. _Don’t use that word_. He could fucking hear Steve’s voice telling him off.

“Sorry…” Billy heard himself mumbling and Nancy sighed.

She opened her mouth to say more but, suddenly, the door to the bathroom was opened wide and the cool air from the hallway hit them both. Both teens turned to look and Nancy gasped at the figure standing in the doorway.

“Billy?” Karen Wheeler spluttered, her eyes wide in an expression that could only be described as ‘gobsmacked’.


	2. Karen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People don't seem to like Karen all that much.  
> I've had this headcanon since before season 3 and, even when writing the main story, I've largely ignored that season.  
> While there were some awesome parts to it, I really think some characters got shafted, Karen Wheeler being one of them.

Billy had always gotten on well with Karen Wheeler. Yeah, it was based heavily on the fact that she was _definitely_ into him, and, yeah, they hadn’t had all that much to do with one another really. Just the manipulation in November, a couple of exchanges in front of her house and when they’ve bumped into each other in town. Nothing major really. But the fact was that, out of all the bored housewives that Hawkins had to offer, Karen seemed like the nicest; the one with most genuine kindness to her.

Not only that, Billy had always sensed something else in here; some kind of sad, forgotten _yearning_ that she kept just beneath the surface. Before all of this, Billy had thought about that _thing_ he’d seen in Karen Wheeler, even if only in passing. He’d thought about that barely-hidden longing that caught his attention so starkly. Although they’d never acknowledged it, Billy had felt a connection with the woman over it. They both wanted more. They both hated this fucking town and felt trapped here.

Karen was trapped here by her family; by her life and her responsibility. Billy was trapped here by Neil; in a way, like her, he was trapped by his _responsibility_. Only difference was that Billy was still, technically, a kid; he, in theory, had his whole life to spread his wings and fly away. Away from Hawkins and Neil and all the fucking responsibilities that weighed him down on the daily.

To fly all the way to San Francisco and live with the boy he loved by the sea.

At least… that _had_ been the difference. Now that Steve was gone, the links were even stronger. Over the last week, Billy had come to the stark realisation that his wings had been clipped. He couldn’t fly anymore. Not without Steve. Probably never could in the first place. He, like Karen, was stuck here in Hawkins. He, too, would have that longing just beneath his skin; there for any kindred spirit to spot.

Or maybe she was just a loose, old whore who liked her boys young.

Either way, as he lay there, uninvited in her bathtub, he knew that their whole _thing_ was over now. He knew how this looked to a mother of a teenage girl, especially when that teenage girl was sitting there like being around him while he was naked was the most normal thing in the world.

It didn’t look good.

“Mom…” Nancy spluttered, having the sense to straighten up from where she’d been leaning on the tub but too shocked to do much more.

Karen’s face was a fucking picture. As predicted, her eyes flashed downwards at Billy and then, colour rising in her cheeks, she forced herself to look at her daughter instead, pushing her hair behind her ear in a heated gesture. Billy shifted too late to cover himself. Fuck the damage was done already.

“Nancy-” Karen stammered, her voice sharper and higher than Billy had ever heard it.

“Mom, I can-” Nancy started at the same time and now was on her knees about to get up. Billy just watched the two of them speechless. Really, what could he say right now?

Karen held up her hand, eyes closing as if she was too fucking angry to deal with the situation. Nancy held fire, both teens seeming to be holding their breaths in anticipation of what the older woman was about to say; what she was about to do.

“Mom, I-”

“Ah, ah-!” Karen hushed her daughter before she could even start; eyes still closed, hand still raised.

She took in a deep breath, held it a beat longer than Billy expected, and then released it. As if that was all it took to reset her mind, her eyes opened and fixed on her daughter. There it was. The look of determination that Nancy wore so well; Billy could see where it came from now.

“Nancy, let’s speak outside. Billy-” her eyes slide over but went no lower than his jaw this time. “-you finish up and get dressed.”

The way she spoke was so much calmer; so much more in control. It was like she’d entered a special ‘mom mode’ and there was no denying her right now. As if she was powerless to resist, Nancy got up and followed her mother out of the room, only turning briefly before leaving to offer Billy an apologetic look.

His body working on autopilot, Billy did just as he was told: dunking himself under the water to remove any remaining lather that he might have forgotten about while he’d been wallowing. Pulling the plug out, he stood up and grabbed the towel Nancy had given him before this whole mess had started; before she’d felt the need to come in and check on him.

If he wasn’t such a fucking mess then Nancy would have been outside. She’d have seen her mom coming home and would have had a plan for dealing with it. Now everything was fucked and it was all Billy’s fault once again.

By the time he was dressed, presentable and heading out of the bathroom, Nancy was nowhere to be seen. Karen was standing, back to the wall, eyes fixed on the space that Billy was now occupying like she’d been waiting a while. With a small nod of her head, she pushed off the wall and headed down the corridor, down the stairs, not looking back to check Billy was following.

Follow he did, though. While this wasn’t the overly dramatic _hell_ that he’d prophesised, it still didn’t feel good. It felt starkly like he was going to get his ass thrown out of the Wheeler’s house without so much as a goodbye.

Karen took him past the front door, however, leading him through the blessedly-empty kitchen and into the room that Billy hadn’t been in before: the office. Flicking the lights on, Karen moved round to sit at the desk that Billy assumed Mr Wheeler rarely used, turning the chair so that she could face him. There seemed to be a layer of dust everywhere that supported the idea of the man of the house not exactly being the _working from home_ type.

The two of them looked at each other for a tense moment before Karen motioned towards the only other chair in the room. With a small nod, Billy moved it into a position opposite her and lowered himself down. Fuck. This felt ominous.

“Billy-” she started, her tones and expression so business-like that Billy couldn’t stop himself from interrupting.

“I’m sorry Karen. I- I don’t want you to think- I’m not…” he stammered, feeling all kinds of out of sorts.

Before everything -before Saturday and Steve and the Upside Down- Billy _knew_ how to talk to moms. He _knew_ how to swing them round to his side. He’d been caught in, if not worse then, similar levels of awkward situations before. The time he and Ingrid had been smoking weed out of her bedroom window and her mom had come in, for example, and how they’d had to pretend that they’d been fooling around so that Ingrid’s mom hadn’t known about her casual drug usage. He’d been able to talk his way round there; almost got Enid’s blessing before the older woman’s sharp eyes had caught the zippo on the window sill.

Now, however, he just didn’t know what to say. He was still feeling too shitty; about being caught, living here, Steve… everything. He could no more persuade Karen that he was a decent person than he could persuade himself.

“Billy, Nancy has told me that you’re not sleeping together,” Karen said flatly.

“We’re not! I- She-” Billy agreed, desperate to add some kind of explanation for what the older woman had seen without talking about the Upside Down or any other nonsense. God, he wished Nancy was in here with him. Karen held up a hand to stay his babbling and Billy stopped at once. It wasn’t like he was making all that much sense anyhow.

“And that’s about _all_ she’s told me,” she added, rising to pace around the room. Billy sat, stock-still, just watching her. He felt strangely like a wounded animal being circled by a predator or some shit. After a couple of steps, however, Karen paused and sighed deeply. “Me and Nancy don’t talk. That’s nothing new. I wish it was different but…” she put her hands on her hips and shook her head. Billy could feel the regret from her. It felt so similar to that feeling he had with Max; that strange desire for things to be better but the knowledge that they couldn’t. Yet another thing he had in common with Karen Wheeler. The parallels were so oddly clear today. “But right now, she isn’t talking to me in a different way. It doesn’t feel like she’s not telling me things because of _us_ … It feels like she’s not telling me things because of _you_ …”

“I’m sorry…” Billy replied because he was sorry. Because he knew how it felt and he hated that he was making shit worse. Nancy was protecting him; not wanting to spill the beans about Steve… about him being a… about Billy being _gay._

The next second, Karen was moving to kneel in front of him, her eyes intense and locking with his own.

“Talk to me Billy,” she said and her voice was a plea. There was now a slight feeling of panic in the air; what on earth could she be imaginging? “Why were you in the bath in my house at four in the afternoon? Why is there a bag of your things in my daughter’s room?” Fair questions both but hard ones to give a straight answer to. “Why did Nancy almost scream at me when I suggested calling your father?” she finished and Billy’s heart froze.

“Please don’t-!” he gasped and his face must have given everything away because Karen was shaking her head and taking his hands in her own.

“I’m not going to call him, Billy,” she soothed but Billy’s heart was pounding now; he was gripping onto her hands like his life fucking depended on it. Hell, it probably did. “I just want answers. I want to know why it looks like an eighteen year old boy has been living in my house without me knowing about it. That’s all,” she explained softly and the panic seemed to seep out of both of them in an instant.

“I…” Billy started, wanting to answer; wanting to help. But what could he say?

“Does this have something to do with Steve Harrington?” she asked, hitting the nail squarely on the head in a way that made Billy’s heartrate pick right back up again. “Your arms…. Your chest….” She started, turning his hands so that his forearms were facing upwards. Even though he was wearing one of the few long-sleeved shirts that he owned, they both knew what was under there. Karen had seen everything after all. “Were you in the car crash?”

The car crash. That was the line that had been fed to the people of Hawkins. Steve Harrington had died in a horrible car crash on Saturday night. Nancy and Jonathan had drip-fed him pieces of information about it all -shielding him from being exposed to too much too soon- but, from what they’d told him and what he’d seen around school, it seemed like people were buying it.

“I can’t…” Billy breathed with a shake of his head. His voice cracked and he _could not_ start crying right now. Not with Karen so close. Not with her eyes on him.

“Or… is it to do with your father?” she asked with a hesitancy that told Billy that, at least on some level, she knew. That, somehow, she could tell that Neil was a piece of shit; that Billy, despite all his fucking bravado and muscles, was fucking terrified of the old man.

“He didn’t do this,” Billy objected, taking his hands back and unconsciously rubbing at where the wounds were. He owed her _some_ kind of explanation. He had to tell her something; make it less weird that he had been hiding out in her home. “But…” he started but failed again. What could he say? What would explain it enough for her to understand but not so much that she went running to Hopper?

“But… he _might_ do something else if you go back?” she suggested and Billy bit his lip. Goddamn these Wheeler women. They really knew how to cut him right to the core.

“Yeah…” he admitted and Karen tilted her head to one side.

“Something bad?” she asked, again, in a way that told Billy she _knew_ ; that she was just seeking confirmation.

“Yeah. Something _bad_ …” he said and it sat between them for a long while.

“Okay…” she breathed, standing up and pacing again. He could feel the stress in her every move; could see the wheels turning as she tried to figure out what she was supposed to do. Once again, he was becoming someone else’s problem; a burden to yet another person who deserved better. “You have a sister, Maxine? Is she-?” she started but Billy cut across. This was too much.

“She’s fine. He doesn’t-” he started but -goddam- _saying_ it felt wrong. Implied was bad enough; _inferred_ was uncomfortable. He couldn’t bring himself to admit out loud that his dad was a monster. “She’s fine,” he finished and Karen gave a small nod, returning to her seat.

“How long have you been here? Living in my house, I mean,” Karen asked after a long pause, leaning forwards where she sat. The way she asked almost sounded like she was begging him to let it only be a day or so. Maybe it was her pride or something.

“Since Monday…” Billy replied honestly because, hell, there was no point in lying.

“ _Monday_ …” she looked at him for a long time and Billy couldn’t help but look away. It was like she was trying to get a read on him; see all the things he wasn’t saying. Fuck. “This _is_ to do with Steve, isn’t it?” she asked and Billy could already feel the emotions building up. They were never all that far from the surface, after all. “You two were friends, weren’t you? It seemed like Nancy was going to see you, Steve and Jonathan _every day_ only last week.”

“We were… He-” Billy stammered over his words again. This was too much. He couldn’t give himself away like this; he couldn’t sully people’s memory of Steve with his own patheticness.

“Billy…” Karen started, her voice calm and controlled as ever. When he looked up at her face, he could see a slight crease to her brow; like she was thinking carefully about how to phrase what she was saying. “I had a friend in middle school. Joshua was his name. We dated for about a week in 8th grade. Before it counted, you know,” she started and, honestly, Billy wasn’t sure where she was going with this. “He moved away after high school. Got into a good college, I can’t remember where…” she trailed off and Billy waited for the story to continue. “Now he’s living just outside of Chicago. Very successful, too, I believe.”

“Yeah?” he sniffed. What was she saying?

“Never really settled down. Last time I saw him -oh, must have been a couple of summers back now- he and his buddy David had decided to house share,” she said and suddenly the story had meaning. Suddenly, it sounded quite familiar; quite close to the mark. “Makes sense; two bachelors splitting the costs of living. Keep each other company too, you know? I think- I _know_ they’re much happier than they would be alone. They get on so well…”

Something felt like it was being left unsaid. It felt like Karen was reaching out through this story; probing gently for something she wasn’t entirely sure was there. It made Billy feel… odd. It made him feel strangely curious to see her reaction. Nancy had known all along; Steve had gone to her about all the confused feelings he’d been having right at the start. She must have got that from somewhere. Just like Neil had passed his homophobia down to Billy, could Karen had passed something more open-minded down to Nancy?

“Sounds like a couple of queers,” he said, testing the waters; watched the slur hit her and her not even flinch.

“Well _that’s_ none of my business, now, is it?” she said as if it was the most simple thing ever. The way she said it made it sound _okay_. It was like she was saying _‘yeah, they’re gay and what?’_ He’d never seen an adult be so casual about homosexuality before; not outside of the regulars at Dynamo; not outside of actual gay people. Even his own mom had acted like it was a terrible thing when Neil called him _faggot_ ; like it was the worst thing he could call their son. “All I know is my friend from middle school is happy living with his best friend and isn’t that all that matters?” Karen continued with a small shrug and gentle smile.

“Yeah…” Billy had to agree. Heart beating fast, he made a decision. “Steve was… He was my _best friend_ …” he breathed, his voice starting to shake from a mixture of nerves and that every-present pain.

He was. Over the course of their relationship, Steve had become Billy’s best friend, his boyfriend, his world. Seeing the understanding instantly spreading over Karen’s face, Billy couldn’t halt the choked-up sob that burst out of him.

Arms open and there, Karen returned to her spot in front of him. As he continued to cry, she pulled him in close, crossing the line that they’d never crossed until now. It felt so strange that _this_ was how Karen finally got her arms around him. There was no flirtation here; no inappropriate comments or looks or anything. This was just a mom looking after a kid as he cried.

“Billy…” Karen sighed a heartbroken sigh. “I’m _so_ sorry…” she said and, goddamn, she _got_ it. She _knew_ what Steve meant to him. She _knew_ and she didn’t care that they were both guys; she just cared that Steve had gone and left Billy behind.

Who knew Karen Wheeler was like this?

“We were going- going to move to San Francisco… After I graduated, you know? We were going to go there and- we were going to-” Billy started to babble, drawing more parallels to Karen’s Joshua and David story that didn’t need drawing anymore. She’d got it but, fuck, it sounded so much like what they’d planned. Weren’t they going to run away together? Find a place where no one gave a shit if they were roommates or lovers? Fuck…

“I see,” she hummed softly, a hand running up and down his back in a comforting, maternal gesture. It was crazy how good it felt. Still a fucking mess, Billy leaned into it; savoured that feeling that he’d lacked through all those years of only having Neil.

“But now- Now he’s-” he gasped but Karen was shaking her head even as she still held him close.

“Shhh…” she hushed as her hand kept stroking; as her hold on him tightened a little. “It’s going to be okay,” she tried but Billy wrenched himself free at that.

“People keep saying that! ‘It’s going to be okay’! They keep saying that but-” he cried, akmost shouting in the poor woman’s face. He felt so fucking tired of being this mess. Now Karen had seen him. Now he’d shown how fucking broken he was and it felt so fucking stupid; so pathetic. “But it never was before- Before Steve and I got- Before we were _best friends_ , it _never was_ okay. _He_ made it okay! _He_ made things feel okay; made the future look better. How can it be okay now?” he continued.

Karen’s expression stayed calm; like the face of a cliff as the sea crashed and raged against it. Her hands gently squeezed on inside of Billy’s elbows where they’d ended up, thumbs circling in scaled-down reminders of how her hands has stroked his back.

“It can’t. Not _now_ ,” she said simply, sadly, and with a wet, shuddering breath, Billy leaned back into her. Once again, her arms were around him; holding him close. Goddamn, it felt too close to comforting; too close to actually making a difference. “Billy, it hasn’t even been a week. Your best friend died and it hasn’t even been a week. But I promise you: it will get better. Time will heal this. Time will heal _you_ ,” she promised and Billy closed his eyes and held on tighter as the tears continued to fall.

As with all of these episodes, Billy lost track of how long he cried in Karen Wheeler’s arms. It seemed like, once the floodgates opened, there was nothing he nor anyone else could do but wait it out. Karen had held onto him like he was her own son, hands and voice gentle and caring as she soothed him.

He really could see where Nancy got it from. Karen Wheeler was something else.

When he was finally more or less back to a ‘normal’ state, Karen had taken him by the hand and led him to the basement. As they walked down the stairs, she explained how she wasn’t going to send him back to Neil; how he could stay with them for now at least.

“You can stay down here for now. There’s a couch and I can get the spare sheets out for you. I know it’s not ideal -I mean, we will have to figured something else out for the long term- but, for now, this will have to do,” she explained as she motioned towards the couch.

Billy looked around the room. He’d only been down here once or twice to pick up Max, never really taking the time to look at the surroundings. There were _toys_ all over the place; some of them clearly liscenced shit like Star Wars and others that looked handmade. There was a table set up with a board and other shit all over it.

This was the nerds’ base of operations. It felt so fucking weird that he’d be staying here.

“Thank you, Karen,” he said all the same. It was so much better than being thrown out.

While he didn’t doubt that Joyce would take him in, that would lead to questions; could lead to Hopper making a thing of it. So far, Karen had made no mention of calling the cops and he really wanted to keep it that way. After all, at the moment, the only injuries he had on him were caused by _Steve_. There was no evidence of what Neil liked to do to him.

“You can understand why you can’t carry on sleeping in Nancy’s room, right? Ted would hardly approve on that,”

“I get it…. Karen-” he started. It was a stupid thought; a pathetic thought- but, god, he really didn’t need this going further. Karen might not be bothered but what about her husband? What about her son? As broken and obvious as he was being at the moment, he really didn’t need shit being confirmed for people. Like, ever if he could help it. “About… About Steve and me-” 

“Don’t worry, Billy. I won’t say anything,” Karen smiled, already at the foot of the basement stairs. “Like with Joshua and David, it’s none of my business.”

Billy half-smiled. Every smile felt like half a smile; like the other half had died with Steve. Billy wondered if Karen had been right. Whether time _would_ heal him and his smile or not.

“I’m sorry Karen,” he said and she tilted her head to one side.

“For what?” she asked gently and Billy balled up his fists.

“For- For leading you on. For flirting with you all the time… I dunno,” he said, feeling stupid; feeling like a fucking _kid_ in front of her now.

“Billy,” Karen sighed and she was crossing back over to him to rest a gentle hand on his cheek. “You don’t have to apologise to me, Billy. It made me smile. You have nothing to apologise for.”

“Still…” he started with another shrug.

“Billy, I had no expectations with you. You’re my daughter’s age, for goodness sake,” she laughed, giving his cheek a couple of soft pats before staking a step back away from him. “It just felt nice to be noticed, even if it was by you,” she said lightly but Billy could once again feel that _longing_ beneath her skin; that secret hurt that she hid so well.

“You deserve to be noticed, Karen,” he said and saw the words resonate within her. The whole moment felt deep. He shifted his feet. “I mean… You’ve got a rockin’ bod…” he tried to laugh it off and Karen giggled in the way she used to for him; like his flirting was still doing the trick even though she knew what he was; even though she had _seen_ him.

“Billy-!” she protested from behind her hand and Billy felt his smile reach sixty percent.

“What I mean is… Thank you,” he added, genuine and meaningful.

“Hmm…” Karen hummed in that strange mixture of happy and sad that Nancy also managed to balance. There was a pause for a moment before she shook herself off and headed back to the stairs. “Dinner is at six thirty. You should join us tonight. I’ll make extra.” And, with that, she was heading up and out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the absence of having his own, I wanted Billy to have a mother moment.  
> I know that Joyce would be a perfect choice but I... just have a soft spot for my interpretation of the Wheeler women.


	3. Mr Wheelers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took me a little longer because of reasons! ^_^'''  
> Hope everyone is keeping safe and well!! <3

With the help of Nancy, Billy was able to set himself up in the basement of the Wheeler house. As they worked, Nancy had explained how her mom was going to talk to Little Wheeler, her husband and someone called ‘Holly’ before dinner and that Nancy would come get him when it was ready. It all sounded fine, albeit a little humiliating, but Billy felt a little stupid and ignorant that he hadn’t even realised that there was an even smaller Wheeler than Little Wheeler.

Still, they managed to set up some kind of bedspread on the lumpy couch and Nancy even went so far as to light _two_ scented candles to remove some of the ingrained preteen stench from the space. In all honesty, it wasn’t really a smell that bothered Billy -not long having been a fourteen year old punk kid himself- but Nancy was all despairing looks and overly dramatic gestures about the whole thing. Besides, the mixed scents of vanilla and something fruity and sweet was strangely nice.

By the time Nancy had headed upstairs to join in with the ‘family chat’, Billy felt almost comfortable as he sat on his makeshift bed.

Today had been a lot. School had had this grim shadow over it in the wake of yesterday’s cancelled basketball game. In all honesty, tangled up in his own misery and having skipped school, Billy had completely forgotten about the game; the game he’d stolen captain from Steve for. Missing and forgetting about the game hadn’t hurt Billy quite so much as that repeated realisation that it was just another thing that Steve wasn’t around for. He’d made it through the day but the post-school bath had been when he’d broken. All of the days shit, combined with the memories of bathing in the Harringtons giant tub with Steve fussing over him, had just been too much.

He closed his eyes for a moment, head leaning back against the lumpy couch cushions, only to open them again when he heard soft footsteps on the stairs. Looking in the direction of the sound, he’d expected to see Nancy coming down to tell him it was time for dinner; that the Wheelers had finished talking about him and were now ready for him.

Instead there was a gangly, prepubescent boy standing near the bottom of the stairs. His little face struck a perfect balance between disgusted and disbelieving and Billy couldn’t help but wonder how that fucking conversation upstairs had gone.

“So, you really _have_ been living here,” the little pest said and it was so fucking childish -so fucking hateful- that Billy felt all on edge from the get-go.

“Yeah,” he replied stiffly. While annoyed, he really didn’t have the energy for a bickering match with a kid; probably would never have the energy for such bullshit ever again. None of this shit mattered after all.

“You’re such a butthole. You and Nancy are both a couple of buttholes,” Little Wheeler spat, coming further into the room. There it was; that naïve confidence that this kid always had. The undeserved assurance that Billy wouldn’t beat the snot out of him; that he was safe to poke and prod at the older boy as he pleased. _He_ didn’t know how true it was. _He_ hadn’t seen shit.

“Watch it kid,” Billy warned, standing up as he tried to tap into the lion’s rage that never usually failed to keep the kids in their place. Even he could hear it was lacking. Little Wheeler rolled his eyes and stood tall. Fuck… he was a lanky one. Even though there was a good few years between them, that barely translated to Billy having more than a few inches in height over him.

“No I won’t ‘watch it’. You _disappeared_ , Billy,” the little asshole snipped as if Billy couldn’t snap him in half without breaking a sweat. Fuck. Maybe he _had_ seen more of Billy’s break down last week than he’d initially thought. “I mean, _I_ didn’t care but _Dustin_..? _Max_?” the younger boy continued, really stressing the latter’s name.

Max was worried. Hell, of course she was worried. One minute he was driving her and Henderson to school Monday morning, next he was just… gone. On Tuesday, Jonathan had explained how he’d taken her home that first day and got her to help him load up as much of Billy’s shit as they could fit in a trash bag.

Of course, that would have worried her. She talked a big game but she was still a _kid_.

“Oh,” he said stupidly, the fire behind any irritation he had with Little Wheeler dying before it really had a chance to become anything significant.

Max was worried.

And _Henderson_. Hadn’t he promised to give him a ride home? Hadn’t he decided to take up the _responsibility_ that Steve had shouldered until now? Goddamn, less than a week in and he was proving a terrible substitute.

“Yeah: _oh,_ you butthole! You _really_ have got them worried. Max totally thinks we’re lying about you still going to school. She’s all convinced that something happened with those cuts you had on your arms; that you’ve turned into one of those creatures just like-” he cut himself off with a pained look on his face. Holy shit…

Of course, she would worry about that. Of course, that’s where her mind went; it’s where his went on Saturday night in the back of his Camaro. It’s what he’d almost _wanted_. She hadn’t had the certainty of El saying it wasn’t true. All she knew was he was there one minute and gone the next.

Just like Steve.

“And Dustin hasn’t been to school since Monday. His mom can’t make him and he’s barely replying on the walkie talkies,” the kid continued, pacing back and forth as he explained all the ways that Billy was still fucking up.

“Fuck…” Billy sighed, sitting back down on the couch as if his legs just couldn’t hold the weight of this new failure any longer.

“Don’t flatter yourself. He’s upset about _Steve_ , not you,” Wheeler almost spat but all Billy could do was nod. Of course. There was a beat where both boys just held position. Billy could feel Little Wheeler’s eyes on him but didn’t feel like looked up; didn’t feel like acknowledging it. “He just… He asked about you. Said that you were pretty messed up too.”

The way he said it made it clear that he had his doubts; that he _couldn’t_ know what had been going on between him and Steve. Still, the fact that Henderson was worrying -fucking asking after him- made Billy feel shitty. 

“I don’t get it… How could you do that? Just take off?” Wheeler asked suddenly and Billy finally looked at him.

“I seem to remember _you_ had taken off way back at the start of all this shit?” he said flatly. “Wasn’t that why Nancy and Jonathan were out getting attacked by the Remorhaz that night? Because they were looking for _you_?”

“That’s different. El was missing. I was out there trying to help her,” Wheeler argued back, his tone defiant and all riled-up all of a sudden. “I was out there trying to help someone I lo-” he stopped mid-flow and looked all embarrassed. “I mean- I was out there trying to help a _friend_. You came here because you were feeling sorry for yourself. You didn’t think for one second how it would affect Max! You were only thinking of yourself!”

And, yeah, there was truth in that. Before Saturday -before the ball, the lab and _Steve_ \- Max had made it totally clear that she was done with Billy. She was done. Billy hadn’t thought about her and, in all honesty, hadn’t expected her to think of him. Hadn’t she said that she hated him on Monday morning? Hadn’t she stormed away calling him an asshole?

Yeah, he came here to run away. Run away from Neil; run away from that room that had too many memories; run away from _being_ _alone_. Nancy had been all to happy to be the safe haven that he escaped to.

But, goddamn, he really didn’t need to be talking or thinking about that shit with Little fucking Wheeler of all people. Of the long list of people who’d already born witness to the crumbling of Billy Hargrove, Little Wheeler was arguably not one of them and he had no intention of adding this little punk either.

“I thought you and El were an item?” Billy sighed in an attempt to distract the other boy from this train of thought; take the scent off his own pain and suffering from Saturday.

“What?” the other boy scoffed so Billy pressed a little harder.

“You and El? I thought you two were a thing. Not you and...” he trailed off with a knowing look.

“Me and…?” Billy gave him a _look_ and the meaning dawned on him in an instant. “Oh god, man, don’t be gross! I can worry about Max without being into her. What are you, like, _nine_?”

He would have chuckled here. If it was Steve he was ribbing, he would have laughed and poked harder; provoked a rise out of the other boy. Steve had always been so reactive to Billy; had always fought back when Billy gave him shit. That fire -that wonderful, hilarious fire- was gone now. Little Wheeler was a poor replacement for Steve Harrington.

Everything and everyone would always be a poor replacement; Billy most of all.

“Just leave me alone, Wheeler,” he sighed leaning his head back into the cushions again and closing his eyes. Surely Nancy would be coming down to relieve him soon. Surely it couldn’t be that much long until Karen had dinner on the table.

“This is my room,” came the stubborn reply and Billy sighed dramatically.

“Well your mom said I can stay here so scram,” he snapped, one eye opening and zeroing in on the little asshole. Little Wheeler folded his arms and stared Billy out for a moment. It was almost enough to warrant a count to ten; almost enough to actually piss Billy off. Then he was moving, crossing the room to plonk himself down at the table that Billy and Nancy had left undisturbed so far. He started to flick through the pages of the big manual that was resting on the surface and Billy sighed again. “ _What_ are you doing?”

“This is my room, you know? All of my stuff is in here. Unless you’re sleeping, I don’t see why I can’t use it,” the little shit explained with a shrug, not even looking up from his stupid-ass book.

“Wheeler...” Billy warned but then the other boy was snapping the book shut with a very satisfying _clump_ sound.

“It’s _my_ room,” he shot back and Billy threw his hands up in the air in a despairing gesture. No wonder he and Max were such good friends. They were two fucking peas in an annoying-ass pod! This was just like whenever she would get into one of her bitchy, little strops.

“Fucking fine!” he groaned and once again there was silence.

\---

Billy integrated into the Wheeler family like oil in water. For all the supportive smiles and comments from Karen and Nancy, Little Wheeler remained as bitchy as ever, Mr Wheeler eyed Billy like he was a Russian spy and Tiny Wheeler just seemed terrified of him. Every time he came into a room, there would be a little shriek and then he’d see the little thing scampering off to be scooped up by either Karen or her husband. Karen was good about it, cooing at the little girl and explaining how Billy was ‘a nice boy’. Mr Wheeler would take his daughter in his arms and look at Billy like he’d pulled a gun on them.

It was a real fucking mix.

So, Billy spent much of the weekend in the Wheeler’s basement. Sometimes Little Wheeler would join him and they’d sit in awkward silence while the little jackass made a point of using _his room_. Nancy came down a couple of times to relight the candles that her brother had blown out and do some homework but Billy was hardly in the frame of mind to be doing that shit. It was enough that he’d gone to school three out of five days last week; he was _not_ about to be working from home too.

He managed to keep his shit together all Saturday. No one needed to comfort or hold him all fucking day. When night came, however, when he’d said goodnight to the family and finally had the basement to himself, he had his daily dose of misery. This time, nothing really seemed to trigger it. He just started fucking crying, holding himself tightly as he lay on the couch. It was stupid and pathetic but, then again, so was he right now.

\---

By the time Sunday afternoon rolled around, Billy had finally taken up one of the books from Little Wheeler’s collection and forced himself to give it a read. He’d read The Hobbit before so re-reading it meant that he could still follow what was happening even if he wasn’t really all that focused on it. He was just getting through the introduction of the dwarves when there was a bit of a commotion from upstairs.

Little Wheeler, who had been, once again, making a point of using his room, looked up at the ceiling all dramatic like it could be something Upside Down related.

“What do you think-?” he stage-whispered but stopped himself when the definite sound of a man shouting came through the small windows that were the only source of natural light in this goblin’s cave.

Billy felt his whole body tense up. Even without hearing it clearly -even without hearing the words- he knew who that voice belonged to. Neil.

Neil was here.

He could _just_ hear the faint, calm reply from a female voice. Karen. She wasn’t shouting. She was calm and, no doubt, reasoning with the unreasonable asshole that was his father.

No. He couldn’t have that. He was burden enough without having Neil flying off the handle at these people. For all of Little Wheeler’s bitchiness, Mr Wheeler’s mistrust and Tiny Wheeler’s fear, he wasn’t going to let Neil shit on what they had here. If it was time for him to go then it was time for him to go. He owed Karen and Nancy that much at least.

Without thinking, he got to his feet and rushed up the stairs. Heading towards the open front door, he could see Karen standing in front of the doorway and Neil towering over her in a pose so fucking intimidating that Billy could feel the fires inside him finally being stoked up good and proper.

“‘ _Don’t know what I’m talking about’_?” Neil snarled as his eyes focused on Billy. “I believe you’ve been quite _disingenuous_ with me, Mrs Wheeler!” he continued victoriously, stressing the word like he was the most intelligent person in the world for being able to use a fucking thesaurus.

“Billy,” Karen said softly, sounding a little take aback that he was there. She was still standing firmly where she was, widening her stance a little if anything, as if she was a human barrier between Billy and his father.

“You told me he wasn’t here but here he is!” Neil laughed cruelly, opening his arms out like he’d just performed a fucking magic trick. Goddamn, Billy hated how much of himself he saw in the old bastard in that moment.

“What do you want, dad?” Billy asked, the words braver than his tone could back up.

“What do I _want_?” Neil spat, his eyes narrowing and his nostrils flaring. “What I want is for my good-for-nothing son to get back home where he belongs.” He rounded on Karen and Billy felt his hands forming fists that sent jolts of pain up his forearms. “I can see what’s happening here, lady! I’ve seen the Graduate! I know what’s going on and its fucking sick!” And, goddamn, Billy wanted to hit the old fucker all over again.

It was pretty fucking rich that, when it suited him, Billy was a dirty faggot, who was just as likely to bend over for the fucking mail man as touch his own step-sister, but could also be a defenceless boy being lured in by an older woman. A tiny, victorious part of him realised that Neil probably had no idea what ‘faggot’ actually fucking meant; he had no idea about Billy at all. All of those times Billy had taken on board the shit the old man was spewing, he’d never seen it until now.

Neil didn’t _know_ him -didn’t see him for who he was like Billy had always feared- he didn’t know shit. He was just an ignorant, hateful old man who weaponised whatever taboo and slur he could to hurt Billy.

“Mr Hargrove, I don’t know what you’re insinuating but-”

“Oh you know damn well what I’m _insinuating_ , lady!” he sneered and suddenly he was moving forwards again and gripping Karen by the shoulder. “Now get out of my way, I’m taking my son home!” he growled and shoved Karen aside.

Billy felt his whole body tense up when the older woman hit the doorframe, when Neil stomped over to him and grabbed the front of his shirt. His feet were planted but it wasn’t enough; it was never enough against Neil. With a harsh yank, Billy was pulled forwards and the buttons on the shirt snapped open, revealing the angry wounds on his chest. Billy watched Neil’s eyes fix on them and widen for a second.

The look in those eyes wasn’t the one a normal father would have. There was no worry, no concern, there was simply disgust. Like the scratches there were somehow Billy’s fault; like he’d somehow done them himself in some revolting manner. His head whipped round to Karen as he dragged Billy towards the door.

“What the hell is this? What kind of depraved shit has been going on here?” he shouted almost shaking Billy in her direction as Karen tried to straighten up.

“Dad, it’s not-” Billy tried but only earned himself a good shaking for trying to speak.

“I don’t want to hear it, Billy!” Neil hissed, all hatred and anger. “We’re going to go home and-”

“You’re not taking the boy anywhere,” came an unfamiliar voice and Billy had to turn to see who it was.

Mr Wheeler was standing there, arms folded, expression firm. Nancy was behind him with an equally hard expression on her pretty face. Hell, even Little Wheeler was there with his usual bitchy expression, this time directing it at Neil.

The old bastard laughed, letting go of Billy’s shirt and turning to face the Wheelers.

“He’s my son, you know? I’m just taking back what’s mine,” and, goddamn, that was how he saw Billy. He was his property. He was his punch bag, his live-in maid, his nanny. As far as Neil was concerned, Billy was a _thing_ that belonged to him.

Holy shit.

“Unless I’m mistaken,” Mr Wheeler started, taking a solid step towards them. “This is still America. Slavery was outlawed in Indiana in the 1800s. That boy no more belongs to you than he does to me.”

“He’s my son,” Neil protested, taking a step forward to meet the slightly-pudgy man. Mr Wheeler didn’t look intimidated; just stoically calm and firm.

“And that was my wife that you just put your hands on,” he said evenly and the two of them stared each other out. “You’re lucky I’m a forgiving sort. Another man might shoot you for coming in here and laying your hands on his wife.”

“Shoot me?” Neil spluttered a forced laugh. “Are you threatening me?”

“Not at all, Mr Hargrove. Just stating the fact that you are trespassing on my property and I have every right to defend my family and my home,” Mr Wheeler replied without so much as a stammer. Billy could only see the back of his head he saw the way Neil took a half step back; the way his head tilted downwards like he was expecting Mr Wheeler to be holding a firearm. “But I’ve never really held with that sort of thing. I’d rather let the authorities deal with matters like this. Should I give them a call? I’m sure Jim Hopper would be all too happy to come round and settle this matter.”

There was a tense few minutes in which both men just held their ground. Billy looked across the standoff to Nancy whose eyes were still round as saucers. Everyone was so silent, so still, that when Neil let out an exasperated sigh they all seemed to jump back into the moment.

“Whatever! Keep him!” he snarled and turned back to the door, his face a picture of rage. As he stomped over, he paused to jab a finger in Billy’s face. “Don’t you even think of crawling back, though, you hear? You’re done in my house! Finished! I’ll be glad to see the back of you, you ungrateful little-!”

“That’s quite enough, thank you,” Karen interrupted, all strong and motherly again as if she’d never been shoved aside by the old fucker.

Neil shot her a hateful glare and then shoved his way past her and Billy, stomping down the path to his car and out of Billy’s life for good.

The moment Karen closed the door, Nancy and Little Wheeler were clamouring around Mr Wheeler with rapturous looks on their faces.

“That was awesome dad!” Little Wheeler enthused as Nancy pulled the older man into a hug.

“Thank you, Daddy!” she practically squealed and Billy watched as Karen moved past him to join her family.

“Ted, you were so brave. How did-” she started but Mr Wheeler was shaking his head and chuckling.

“That was terrifying!” he laughed and the rest of the family embraced him.

Despite everything, Billy couldn’t help but smile as he watched the scene. The Wheelers had really come through for him. They’d stood up to Neil in a way he never had done before; in a way that he never could do. And now he was free. Neil wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He was free.

It felt so strange. So bittersweet. He was free; free to live his life and not worry about Neil. But still… Steve was still gone. That freedom felt hollow as he realised that all he wanted to do was call Steve up and tell him. All he wanted to do was rush over to Loch Nora and kiss Steve Harrington the moment he answered the door; neighbours be damned.

“Thank you, Mr Wheeler,” Billy coughed when all the celebrations seemed to have died down. Mr Wheeler took a step forward, out of the arms of his family, and looked Billy straight in the eye. For the first time that weekend, his expression didn’t harden at the sight of him. No, it seemed to soften. He gave Billy a smile and clapped him on the shoulder.

“It’s Ted, son,” he smiled. “You can call me Ted.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be more from Changes but the time jumps are going to vary more. I plan to have the next story be quite soon after this one but then... there will be bigger jumps.  
> I'll try and make them as clear as possible either through the stories themselves or through my notes!!


End file.
